The late Joan Rivers, actress, and obnoxious comedian, was famous for her line “Can We Talk?” when trying to get someone’s attention.
She would often use this line after she had insulted a persons or group of persons. It wasn’t pretty.
I have recently become discovered another woman—far different that Joan—who wants us to talk. Her name is Tish Harrison Warren, an Anglican priest and former campus minister at Vanderbilt University and the University of Texas. She now writes a column for the New York Times.
She opened a recent essay (10-24-21) with these words: “The nation is coming apart. The world is in turmoil. We need to chat about the weather. I mean this sincerely.”
Warren cited a recent poll that found “that 75% of Biden voters and 78% of Trump voters believed their political opponents ‘have become a clear and present danger to the American way of life.’”
This finding has less to do with the policies of the political parties but, according to the poll, than to a “mutual loathing based more upon emotion.” The pollster also says this as a sign of “spiritual and moral sickness.”
Then Warren spends the rest of her column discussing the importance of those “cultural habits that allow us to share in a common humanity.” She refers to those “quiet, daily practices that rebuild social trust,” simple things such as greeting a neighbor on the street, joking with someone at the grocery or smiling at a baby in a stroller—or even chatting about the weather.
Today, due to cell phones and COVID, we do not have as many opportunities for these “small talk” public interactions that link us as humans and build trust. However, Warren reminds us, we are much more than the sum of our political emotions and/or hatreds.
Although people on both sides of our political divide agree that we need some profound political changes and do see dangers in what the other side wants to do, Warren tells us that “we cannot build a culture of peace and justice if we can’t talk with our neighbors.” So as we slowly leave our COVID cocoons, “one of the first and most important things we need to re-establish is a habit of talking with those around us about nothing that will ever be considered a hot take,” like the weather.
Two people can leave even a conversation about the weather “and walk away with the feeling that they are each a little less alone.”
And I know that it is possible to go beyond small talk with those with whom we have political differences; we can be friends, and work together on issues of common interest.
That has been my experience in recent years working on projects with other members of the Lions Club in Murray, a group which includes many Republicans. We talk about things more serious than the weather, like collecting used eyeglasses, filling blessing boxes in our community, and offers to help restore Murray’s swimming pool.
We acknowledge our political differences, but spend most of our time and conversation on ways to help our fellow citizens and promote the common good and general welfare of people in our community.
Now, before my Republican or Democratic friends write me off as naïve, look a just a few of the other humane things that Red and Blues have done together in Murray/Calloway in recent years.
We have HOPE Calloway supported by Angels Attic and Needline, for those needing help with
food, utilities and housing. We now also have homes and programs for those recovering from addiction.
Donna Herndon established Calloway United Benevolent Society (CUBS) as a coordinating agency years ago, and now we also have the Calloway County Cooperative, begun during COVID by Mary Scott Buck to support people with life essentials, and Soup for the Soul, led by Debbie Smith. This list is very incomplete. Unsurprisingly, it is one in which women are prominent.
I have no idea how these women vote, but they clearly know how to talk to people who may vote differently than they do.
And they may even begin conversations by asking about the weather?